Parents across the political spectrum are banding together to save their trans children

Eric Childs says he joined the army because “serving my country was a defense of freedom.” 

“I live in a small town in South Carolina,” he declares in a video while at a shooting range with his son. “I absolutely believe in protecting my rights. And I absolutely love my trans child.”

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The video is the first in a series by GRACE – Gender Research Advisory Council and Education – a non-profit founded by trans veteran Alaina Kupec with the goal of reaching across the aisle on transgender rights. The group supports on-the-ground organizing in states facing anti-trans legislation. With a politically diverse membership, it serves as a resource to reach across the aisle. GRACE’s work helped lead to the monumental, though ultimately unsuccessful, veto of Ohio’s trans health care restriction by Republican Governor Mike DeWine.

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Alongside GRACE, 45 parents of trans kids co-signed a brief for the impending Supreme Court case L.W. v. Skrmetti, which will decide the legality of gender-affirming care bans nationwide. The brief details the families’ diverse experiences and why they all support gender-affirming medical care.  

Five parents spoke with LGBTQ Nation about what motivated them to take a stand on the national stage. 

“There are objective truths in this world,” says Rick Colby, the Republican parent of a trans young adult. “One objective truth I learned is that being transgender is a real thing, and if it is a real thing, then it transcends any political ideology.”

Colby, whose son has been out for over a decade, is now an experienced activist, “I’m trotted out often as the Republican parent who loves and supports their transgender son, which I don’t really get personally. I’m just doing my job as a parent.” 

He adds, “Some of [my son’s] trans friends joke and they say I’m a dad to all of them. I can’t help it.”

Colby understands there are problems with the current state of his party. “The GOP is awful on trans rights,” he says. Faced with a “binary choice,” he still votes red, weighing the totality of political issues. “My goal is to try to make the GOP safer for trans people.”

Others could not stomach staying aligned with the GOP. Sarah Celotto, who is now an Independent, said, “I did leave that Republican Party. There are some things I still agree with, but I could not sit under a party that was basically wanting to erase the existence of my child.”

Behind the scenes, Colby says there is support for the transgender community that’s being stifled by a vocal minority. He has made it his mission to show others on the right that “there’s nothing out of the ordinary with having a transgender son.”

As a lobbyist, Colby knows you must be smart about approaching issues. “If you go in with hard left messaging to conservatives, they just tune out,” he said, adding, “You know you would never wear a Trump Maga hat to go in and lobby Democrats.” 

Lawyer Sean Madden, a GRACE board member and father to a transgender daughter, who is also listed on the parents’ brief, agrees. 

“There is this gap in the movement. Frankly, not a lot of [LGBTQ+] movement organizations have a voice with or credibility with folks in the center and center-right.”

Madden, a Republican-turned-Independent in the Trump era, understands the significance of the fact that red states are where anti-trans laws have passed.

“40% of trans kids live in those states,” he laments. Madden is a self-described “unlikely activist.” After his daughter came out, he was inspired to return to school to study non-discrimination law and volunteer with LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations.

“I think of us as a nonpartisan communications and public affairs nonprofit that tries to bring evidence-based medicine and facts to these discussions, and to do it in a way where we’re not demonizing people,” he says. “Folks have been fed so much misinformation, they don’t know better.”

He cites the millions of dollars spent by the anti-LGBTQ+ hate group Alliance Defending Freedom and other similar organizations to push strategic, anti-trans rhetoric. 

Regina Olshan, another parental signatory, said she has always had “kind of liberal-ish views” but admits, “I have been as far from an activist as one could possibly have been over my entire life.” She says learning that her son was trans was “a shock” and that she needed education. Despite the learning curve, she says, “It was always very clear that we would love and accept our kid.”

“Having my child be subject to these terrible attacks from people creating anti-trans hysteria for their own ends,” she explains, “has really made me sit up and realize we do have to fight.”

Olshan, a lawyer, also cites a sense of “fundamental fairness” which makes her feel like the issue is non-partisan – so does the fact that her Trump-supporting parents support their grandson wholeheartedly.

She expresses frustration for the fact that puberty blockers are still available for cisgender kids when they are banned for transgender kids. “It is deeply unfair to single out this group for these legal prohibitions.”

She now volunteers with GRACE and Families United for Trans Rights (FUTR), which works to elect transgender candidates to office. 

Not all the parents in the coalition are new to activism or LGBTQ+ issues. Melissa Combs, who is progressive, has worked on LGBTQ+ rights since the early 2000s during the height of same-sex adoption advocacy. When her son came out, she was also quick to take action. “I’m in a fortunate position where I can stand up and I can be visible,” says Combs, who founded the Out Accountability Project after her child faced harassment at school. “Families are terrified, I understand, and I am so grateful to have their trust in letting me speak for them.”

All the parents expressed that being part of a diverse coalition is powerful. “You don’t feel so lonely anymore, and you realize that you’re not the only parent that has this going on in their life,” said Celotto.

Celotto, who launched a nonprofit to support trans youth, emphasizes that being visible is not easy, but important. “It is difficult for us. We are called names. People are saying what we are doing is child abuse. As a parent, I love my child, and all I want is for him to be happy and alive. I will do what I need to do for that to happen.”

Combs shared that she saw the video with Childs before getting involved with the brief and GRACE. “That video has been one of the tabs that just stays open on my computer because from time to time I need to watch it,” she says, “It gives me hope.”

Combs isn’t the only one with hope. “I think we’re going to win,” Colby says, referring to the docket of trans rights court battles.

Faith carries many parents through, although that realm is not always accepting. After a lifetime in the Catholic Church, Celotto stepped away this year, moving to a more accepting congregation. “I didn’t want God to feel like I was leaving him when I really wasn’t leaving him. It was the organization that I was leaving.” She says her trans son also believes in God but no longer feels welcome in the Catholic Church.

Colby’s understanding of transness hinges on his spirituality.  “I really believe my son has a masculine soul, and he was always meant to be a man,” Colby explains. “I don’t know why it happened the way it did but thank God we have the technology and expertise in healthcare to get people to a great spot.” 

“I’m just thrilled that my son is alive and thriving.”

Editorial Note: Eric Childs, the subject of GRACE’s first video mentioned in this article, passed away this summer in a car accident. His wife, Jessicka Spearman, is currently running for South Carolina State Senate against anti-LGBTQ incumbent Richard Cash.

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source https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/10/parents-across-the-political-spectrum-are-banning-together-to-save-their-trans-children/